I used to like browsing People magazine when I was killing some down time. I'll be the first to tell you that it's junk food for the brain and I know it. It's like my version of reality T.V. (which I cannot stand to watch). It's my vapid indulgence. I like red carpet dresses. What else can I say? I haven't read People magazine in a while. Sometimes I read stories from the trending news feed on FB that catch my eye. It's a similar indulgence. I'm going to have to stop it because of the commentary. I didn't think it was possible, but I do believe that people are actually getting meaner than ever online. I'm not talking about getting into an online argument with someone you know or having a debate that goes sour and gets ugly. I'm talking flat out disgusting and mean for no other reason than just to be mean. No filters. No censor. Just mean.
I don't watch The Tonight Show on T.V. I catch clips of it on YouTube from time to time. I catch enough to know that Jimmy Fallon makes me laugh and I like the way he interacts with his guests. It brings a smile to my face. Watching the clip of Meghan Trainor losing her balance and falling at the end of a Tonight Show performance was no exception. It was actually cute. The way Fallon responded was even better. People fall all the time. Olympic athletes are the the most finely tuned physical specimens and they fall A LOT. Shit happens. I trip over my own toes when I'm barefoot. Meghan wasn't seriously hurt by her fall and that's all that matters. Ummm ... a popular response online was, "That's what happens when you put fat bitches in heels". There were so many different ways that insults were hurled about her being a "fat bitch".
Another trending tidbit is about comedienne Amy Shumer's new skit shopping for clothing when you're bigger than a size 4. Regardless of whether or not you think she is actually funny, Amy does draw attention to a real problem - body shaming. It has gotten so out of hand. It was bad when I was young, but now it's even worse. It has become acceptable to body shame by thinly veiling the shame through "health and fitness" concerns. Shamers will defend their insults by saying, "I'm not shaming. I'm pointing out how unhealthy it is to be overweight." I saw every other comment about Amy Shumer being a "fat bitch", just like the comments about Meghan Trainor were.
It's disheartening to note that these types of insults are directed overwhelmingly toward women (by both women and men). I see it all the time. "Disgusting" "Fat" "Lazy". These always come up when people are randomly throwing hate at women. It's everywhere. I overhear it in public. People get mad, mad, MAD when women expend energy and succeed in ventures that don't involve exercise, mothering, clothing, make-up and restrictive dieting. It's the same old tune. You do realize that the more time you spend on making sure you are thin enough, pretty enough, fashionable enough, visually and behaviorally acceptable enough for everyone around you that you're losing time that could be spent on endeavors that actually DO something for the world other than maintain the status quo of women being valued purely as visual objects, sexual targets and window dressing? Jesus Christ. Is this ever going to change?
Much of this social bile has been brought back up into the forefront of my experience (I thought I'd left it in the dust after adolescence and early adulthood) because I've taken up an interest in running. The fitness world is littered with this bullshit. Let me be crystal clear .. I do NOT run to lose weight. I do NOT run to look better. I do NOT run to fit into some mythical ideal dress size. I do NOT run to compete with other runners. I do NOT run to earn any sort of title or monetary gain. I do NOT run to make others feel inferior because they don't or won't run. I run because it hurts and it challenges me. It gives me a sense of control over the powerlessness I feel toward medical conditions that make living constantly difficult. You'll meet people that have taken up running to cope with PTSD, homelessness, substance abuse and former physical/sexual/emotional abuse for similar reasons. It it emotionally therapeutic to some who are struggling with demons they feel otherwise powerless to defeat. The very LAST thing they need is more shame in their lives coming from shallow, stupid assholes.
When I'm not becoming ensnared in the trappings of other people's vanity and narcissistic esteem issues, running and exercise ON MY OWN TERMS helps me cope with debilitating anxiety and depression. Depression kills people and it has almost killed me more times than I'm sure most reading this have stared at impending death. I exercise when I can because it helps me to cope with being me. It isn't the only way out there to cope and it might not work for someone else. I wouldn't presume that what works for me will work for everyone or even that what works for me now will always work for me. I do the best I can with what I'm given in this life. I'm constantly navigating and rerouting. I'm not trying to fit into a dress I wore when I was 20, although I probably could.
If you see me out in my spandex "active wear" it's because that's what is most comfortable and practical to wear during a workout. I'm not asking for creepy, entitled men to rubberneck and gawk at me like I'm a car crash. I'm not trying to earn jealous stares from women. I get those, believe it or not, at my age. It confounds me. It used to anger me, but I'm seeing it through a different lens. Women are taught to "size up" other women. I live in this world. I know what's up. If a woman gives me *that* look, instead of being indignant and frustrated I'm learning to do what I want done. Compassion. Understanding. Forgiveness. Random women who give me *that* look don't know me. It's easy to presume I'm another vapid, backstabbing beast just waiting to make her life a drama-infused nightmare. It's a safer bet for her to assume that is my game because that is the status quo. Is she giving me the benefit of the doubt? No. But I cannot say that I entirely blame her on a bad day. It's a shitty world.
I'm just trying to cope with being me, day to day, and dealing with my own stuff. I'm doing what helps battle agoraphobia and anxiety. It's not an easy battle. I do not hate women that are thinner and more fit than I am and I do not think I'm better than or morally superior to women who are larger and less fit than I am - even though this is the script women often follow. My size, my shape, my gender, my age, whatever. It's irrelevant. And so is yours. Please think about the messages you put out to the world with your words and your actions. You are responsible for your message. Do you want it to be one of love, compassion and dignity? Or do you want it to be one of hate, discrimination and shame? You decide. I'm attaching a meme that's apropo for my message today.
I don't watch The Tonight Show on T.V. I catch clips of it on YouTube from time to time. I catch enough to know that Jimmy Fallon makes me laugh and I like the way he interacts with his guests. It brings a smile to my face. Watching the clip of Meghan Trainor losing her balance and falling at the end of a Tonight Show performance was no exception. It was actually cute. The way Fallon responded was even better. People fall all the time. Olympic athletes are the the most finely tuned physical specimens and they fall A LOT. Shit happens. I trip over my own toes when I'm barefoot. Meghan wasn't seriously hurt by her fall and that's all that matters. Ummm ... a popular response online was, "That's what happens when you put fat bitches in heels". There were so many different ways that insults were hurled about her being a "fat bitch".
Another trending tidbit is about comedienne Amy Shumer's new skit shopping for clothing when you're bigger than a size 4. Regardless of whether or not you think she is actually funny, Amy does draw attention to a real problem - body shaming. It has gotten so out of hand. It was bad when I was young, but now it's even worse. It has become acceptable to body shame by thinly veiling the shame through "health and fitness" concerns. Shamers will defend their insults by saying, "I'm not shaming. I'm pointing out how unhealthy it is to be overweight." I saw every other comment about Amy Shumer being a "fat bitch", just like the comments about Meghan Trainor were.
It's disheartening to note that these types of insults are directed overwhelmingly toward women (by both women and men). I see it all the time. "Disgusting" "Fat" "Lazy". These always come up when people are randomly throwing hate at women. It's everywhere. I overhear it in public. People get mad, mad, MAD when women expend energy and succeed in ventures that don't involve exercise, mothering, clothing, make-up and restrictive dieting. It's the same old tune. You do realize that the more time you spend on making sure you are thin enough, pretty enough, fashionable enough, visually and behaviorally acceptable enough for everyone around you that you're losing time that could be spent on endeavors that actually DO something for the world other than maintain the status quo of women being valued purely as visual objects, sexual targets and window dressing? Jesus Christ. Is this ever going to change?
Much of this social bile has been brought back up into the forefront of my experience (I thought I'd left it in the dust after adolescence and early adulthood) because I've taken up an interest in running. The fitness world is littered with this bullshit. Let me be crystal clear .. I do NOT run to lose weight. I do NOT run to look better. I do NOT run to fit into some mythical ideal dress size. I do NOT run to compete with other runners. I do NOT run to earn any sort of title or monetary gain. I do NOT run to make others feel inferior because they don't or won't run. I run because it hurts and it challenges me. It gives me a sense of control over the powerlessness I feel toward medical conditions that make living constantly difficult. You'll meet people that have taken up running to cope with PTSD, homelessness, substance abuse and former physical/sexual/emotional abuse for similar reasons. It it emotionally therapeutic to some who are struggling with demons they feel otherwise powerless to defeat. The very LAST thing they need is more shame in their lives coming from shallow, stupid assholes.
When I'm not becoming ensnared in the trappings of other people's vanity and narcissistic esteem issues, running and exercise ON MY OWN TERMS helps me cope with debilitating anxiety and depression. Depression kills people and it has almost killed me more times than I'm sure most reading this have stared at impending death. I exercise when I can because it helps me to cope with being me. It isn't the only way out there to cope and it might not work for someone else. I wouldn't presume that what works for me will work for everyone or even that what works for me now will always work for me. I do the best I can with what I'm given in this life. I'm constantly navigating and rerouting. I'm not trying to fit into a dress I wore when I was 20, although I probably could.
If you see me out in my spandex "active wear" it's because that's what is most comfortable and practical to wear during a workout. I'm not asking for creepy, entitled men to rubberneck and gawk at me like I'm a car crash. I'm not trying to earn jealous stares from women. I get those, believe it or not, at my age. It confounds me. It used to anger me, but I'm seeing it through a different lens. Women are taught to "size up" other women. I live in this world. I know what's up. If a woman gives me *that* look, instead of being indignant and frustrated I'm learning to do what I want done. Compassion. Understanding. Forgiveness. Random women who give me *that* look don't know me. It's easy to presume I'm another vapid, backstabbing beast just waiting to make her life a drama-infused nightmare. It's a safer bet for her to assume that is my game because that is the status quo. Is she giving me the benefit of the doubt? No. But I cannot say that I entirely blame her on a bad day. It's a shitty world.
I'm just trying to cope with being me, day to day, and dealing with my own stuff. I'm doing what helps battle agoraphobia and anxiety. It's not an easy battle. I do not hate women that are thinner and more fit than I am and I do not think I'm better than or morally superior to women who are larger and less fit than I am - even though this is the script women often follow. My size, my shape, my gender, my age, whatever. It's irrelevant. And so is yours. Please think about the messages you put out to the world with your words and your actions. You are responsible for your message. Do you want it to be one of love, compassion and dignity? Or do you want it to be one of hate, discrimination and shame? You decide. I'm attaching a meme that's apropo for my message today.
